Conflict arises in a variety of different relationships in your life. This is a normal part of being among the human race. Sometimes people can push your buttons and cause you to lose your patience and temper. This type of situation can ruin a good relationship. Code words are essential to maintaining order and stopping the situation before it escalates to a place you don’t want it to.
To create a code word, you will need to speak to the other person honestly and truthfully. Sit down with the person face to face and kindly discuss your relationship. You don’t have to be harsh when telling someone they’re things about them that you don’t necessarily agree with, such as their business tactics.
Code words can be an excellent way to minimize conflict with a business associate or loved one. Imagine you are on a softball team and you enjoy every moment of it. You have a strong bond with your coach but you feel uncomfortable with how he behaves in social settings. In this case, it is essential to keep the positive part of the relationship going. This is called creating a partition in the relationship.
You are great athletes and teammates on the field. However, off the field, you prefer to avoid each other. In softball, there are times when the entire team goes to a local restaurant to celebrate, this will include you. This also means you will have to be in a social setting with your coach, who is quite embarrassing in public.
If you were to have a conversation beforehand and set up a code word when he gets out of control, it will help create a mutually positive environment. For example, if your coach was celebrating too much and drinking accessively you could use the code word, “home run.” It gives a signal to the coach that he is beginning to get out of control.
In a family situation, it can be used in the same way. Before a situation gets escalated to the point of no return, use a code word. You might love your brother and always will, but there might be that one thing that just drives you crazy! Once your brother starts to annoy you, use the code word. It initiates the opportunity to automatically reset yourself and come to an immediate understanding that something is bothering you. It gives you the chance to stop the situation in its tracks and immediately discuss the issue, forgive each other and move forward with a positive relationship.
Recently, I had an experience with a long term business partner that I respect immensely. Surely the feeling is mutual otherwise, I would associate with him. After years of dealing with each other, we can sometimes become inadvertently rude to each other, most of the time we don’t even realize that we are doing it.
This can happen on a one-to-one basis or in a business setting such as a boardroom or conference setting. In my experience, creating a code word between yourself and the associate has been highly beneficial. It could be a business related word. As long as you both know what the specific word is and that it means “I’m upset.” This gives you both a chance to immediately stop, relax and take a deep breath as we continue our great relationship. In life, you will have many people come and go, it is essential to understand to compartmentalize your relationships. What people in your life need to have a code word established?